Grouchy BB makes for ranty post

Ouch, ouch, ouch!!! Last night I managed to break my thumb when I dropped a rock on it. At first I thought I jammed it but this morning it’s swollen and stiff and I can’t move the damn thing without intense pain so *sigh* I think I’ve managed to fracture it. So I’m trying to type while simultaneously reminding myself to hit the spacebar with the LEFT hand! Stoopid opposable thumbs 😦 

In other news my hearing for the divorce was set for September 1st. My birthday is on the 5th so I was pretty tickled about that but this morning I had to call the courthouse to set up “Parenting Classes” at the price of $40.00.

Now, not to put too fine a point on it, but the x husband has decided that he’s going to stop paying child support. He decided this about a month ago after we left the attorneys office. He’s decided that he’s just going to wait until the courts force him to pay which, of course, has made things more than a little bit tough around here. So I had to hold off on scheduling these damned parenting classes until I could manage to scrape $40.00 together for the frigging fee.

The paperwork I received said that I had to complete the classes before the hearing but this morning, when I called them, the soonest they could get me in was the 6th. The day after my birthday and 5 days after the hearing. I told them the situation and they’ve assured me that the hearing is still on and that they’ll just be holding the final signing until I get the certificate from this parenting class. Of course, I’m worried sick that I was given the wrong information and that I’ll walk into court and the judge will look at me and scream at me for being a horrible parent or something for not having the money to sign up for these blasted classes before the court date.

Now I’m a nervous wreck.

In any case I remember the classes all too well from the last time I did them with my first husband. At that time it was basically a 2 hour guilt fest about how horrible my divorce will hurt the kids and how they are scarred for life because of it. Of course, back then the classes were free.

What I keep asking myself is “Where the fuck were these classes 3 years ago when I kicked the asshat out and he threatened suicide to the kids if they didn’t talk me into getting back together with him” they would have actually been helpful then.

I’m sorry, but I resent the fuck out of this mandatory class. I resent it because it’s not only too little too late but it’s also costing me $40.00 which I don’t really have because the x has decided to withhold child support. Not only that but my past experience with these things is that it was a guilt fest primarily designed to fuck with people who are divorcing. There was a ton of stuff about how the kids will be emotionally damaged for the rest of their lives and how I should never, ever, EVER admit to the kids that abuse was happening in the house. Sprinkled on top of that was the idea that aswering childrens questions honesty was a terrible thing to do. The advice that stuck out to me the most was that I would do irreparable harm to my kids if I answered their questions of, “Why did you and daddy divorce?” with the actual truth. Instead I was guided to say that, “Daddy and I fell out of love with each other” or, worse yet the advice for victims of DV could say, “I still love your daddy but we can’t live together anymore”.

Fuck that. I didn’t love their daddy anymore because he beat the snot out of me the entire time we were married.

I hope like hell that they’ve changed the format of these things since my last divorce because, seriously, I don’t want to spend $40.00 to sit and listen to horror stories about my kids acting out in terrible ways because I’ve scarred them for life.

I’m sorry, but I’ll be honest. I’m all for divorce. I’m a huge advocate of it. I hate, hate, HATE when I hear people say “Well, you should always try counseling first and try to save the marriage” because it always turns out to be just another way to keep women feeling like shit for being upset that their abusive spouses are pissing them off.

I’ve been divorced twice and I have three kids, my kids were HAPPY that I left my x!! They were frigging THRILLED. He’s NICE to them now that he only has to look at them twice a month.

Can you tell I’m grouchy today?

Bleh, broken thumb, no child support, money for parenting classes and my grandmother.

It’s official, this week sucks.

As for Grandma, there’s been no change, she’s being given massive doses of antibiotics in prep for the surgery which is scheduled for tonight. I’ll be chatting with my mother later today for another update.

*sigh* I hope my actual birthday turns out better than forecasted.


Published in: on May 31, 2008 at 1:29 pm  Leave a Comment  
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