That my pissed off ranty post over the trouble I had trying to get Emergency Contraception when a condom broke would invoke so much interest. I am utterly and completely stunned at the outpouring of support that has been given to me.
So, I’ve been doing a little of this and a little of that the last few hours and I popped back in to un-mod some comments and damn, was I ever surprised at what I found. Apparently my article was also linked by Boing Boing and I sat looking at the tons of comments that had appeared over the course of the last few hours with a look of stunned gratitude on my face.
Now, that’s not to say that before this time I wasn’t surprised. I had quite a few emails over this whole thing all of them were supportive and kind, I also got an email from a very nice woman at NARAL who wanted some information about the hospitals and doctors that denied me. She also sent me a link to a very informative site about a study that had been done in my state. Apparently only 2 hospitals in my entire STATE will give EC to any woman who needs it and 24% of the hospitals won’t even give it out to women who have been raped.
Anyway, almost every comment on that thread has been kind, thoughtful and supportive and to all of those people I say Thank you. Thank you for the support you have so freely given. I cannot tell you how much it means to me that so many have left such wonderful, kind and supportive comments.
However (isn’t there always a ‘however’ or a ‘but’?) not everyone has been supportive, with my powers of moderation I have largely kept the few comments that have been nasty and spiteful from getting through into the general comments. I deleted one or two at the beginning of this because I already felt like shit after what I had to go through to get the pills to begin with. However, I have kept the most recent ones and while I don’t usually post trollish comments I have decided to do so here because all of these comments will illustrate something much better than I ever could.
So now, without further ado, the Hall of Shame….or rather, those people to whom I give a great big happy “Fuck off” to.
Now before I start I want to remind everyone that this is not an abortion we’re talking about here. Rather these responses are directed at a woman who already has three children and who is barely scraping by as it is. These comments are directed to a woman who used responsible methods and who, if she were actually pregnant, would be in a high-risk group. These are responses NOT to an abortion, but rather to a simple medication that is nothing more than a large dose of oral contraception. EC is NOT an ‘abortion pill’ and there’s still a chance that it didn’t work and I will have to take alternative choices to keep my family from losing our home and living in the streets.
My family and I are balancing on the edge of a knife as it pertains to finances. The fucked up leadership that this country is currently under has forced many people who were barely hanging on as it is into utter financial ruin. I’m clawing for a foothold right now as I slip dangerously close to financial ruin myself another child would not only make us unable to pay for our heat, groceries and the like but also my mortgage.
So, without further ado I give you the Parade of Shame. I’m going to go ahead and mark them by stating #1, #2 and so forth. Mostly because I can’t help but take a stab at some of the stuff they’re saying.
#1. My thoughts, after reading your post, led me to question why you haven’t been more proactive; why aren’t you on birth control pills or an IUD if you don’t want to get pregnant? This way you sort of avoid the morality issue by preventing a pregnancy, rather than possibly aborting one. If it ain’t a baby, then you ain’t pregnant, know what I mean?
To be perfectly honest you don’t have a right to know what’s going on with my contraception. However, because I posted it elsewhere on my blog I will go ahead and tell you.
I am one of those who cannot take birth control. Through my entire reproductive life I have been switched from one form of BC to another. My system utterly rejects it and, after a few months after starting a different pill, I begin to bleed. The bleeding steadily becomes heavier until I am bleeding non-stop. If I don’t cease hormonal contraception at that point my iron begins to drop (I’m also anemic and too much bleeding brings me big problems).
Therefore, the last prescription I had was perhaps the last one there was to give me. The pills were a lose hormone and after several months I could no longer tolerate them either.
IUD’s cost money. I have no health insurance, plus I have had most of my cervix removed and the cervical cap and other barrier methods will have little or no effectiveness on me (or so I’ve been told by my doctor). Therefore we use condoms as a means of birth control. Not that it’s any of your business and, had you actually read my site you would have already known this.
While you think rape is a horrific crime, (which of course it is) I question the thought process that does not think abortion is a horrific crime as well.
Because a fetus is not a full-fledged human being with a life and responsibilities. Unlike you I do not believe that there is even a soul in a fetus until much later in a pregnancy.
Preventing pregnancy relieves you of the consequences you will suffer, possibly for the rest of your life, if you have an abortion. That’s the problem with places like Planned Parenthood – they don’t tell you that part. Believe me, I know – from the point of view of a teenage Mom, and from counseling teenage Moms and those who are considering abortion.
I assure you that if this EC failed and I AM pregnant that I will desire an abortion like an animal in a leg trap desires to chew off its own leg. See, the problem with your morality is that it doesn’t take into account the fact that the 3 existing children I have are my top priority and another child will ruin their lives as well.
——No offense intended, just trying to pass along some common sense. ——
We cannot continue to just go around having sex, creating babies, and then discarding them like a tampon. You’re not the only one who matters in this world of ours, and by not caring about others, you yourself are the one who ends up suffering.
Ummm, actually yes I can. If you want to be technical about it I can indeed run around creating babies and discarding them like tampons. And when you say that I’m not the only one that matters, I wonder if you think that my three children matter? All of my sons were aware of what was happening and every damned one of them agreed that they’d rather be able to keep our house that we’ve worked so hard for than to be out on the street with a kid.
Do you want to deprive my kids of a home? Wow, so much for caring about kids eh?
#2. I have to say it’s encouraging that Ohio doctors have the moral backbone to stand for what they believe in (not prescribing Plan B).
Yes because forcing mothers onto welfare and into the streets with existing children is soooooo moral. Fuck off shithead.
It’s also ironic that you sarcastically commented that “I found that the more hospitals and clinics and doctors I called the more ashamed I became.” It is harsh to just come out and say it, but you aren’t married, and it is natural to be ashamed when you are sleeping around outside of marriage (even if it’s with someone you’ve been with for a long time). Because it is wrong, you are ashamed. That’s pretty simple.
Oh wow, and here I thought it was just the wingnut assholes at the hospitals who kept treating me like a slut that bothered me.
Come to think of it who the hell do my horses think they are engaging in sexual intercourse without being married! I bet they feel like complete hell about themselves for not being moral because, you know, the urge to get married is a genetic urge that we’re just born with. Shame on them! Shame, shame, shame!
It really does boil down to a previous post – if you don’t want more kids, and you want the freedom to sleep around and not be ashamed when it ends up like this, get your tubes tied! It’s not rocket science, but it would help you avoid running into situations where you are forced to explain your immoral lifestyle.
Sorry, I have no desire to undergo female castration, I’ve seen the shit other women have gone through and I’m not stepping up to that plate. Not to mention the lack of insurance is a bit of a brick wall, but of course I suspect that idea never crossed your mind did it?
#3 I have no pity for you, you disgusting, filthy whore.
Ahhh, so now we see what they really think eh? Apparently I’m a ‘whore’ and that’s a good enough reason to force me to carry a child. It appears that these guys are only concerned with the fact that I had sex, that’s the only thing I need to have done to qualify for “disgusting, filthy whore”.
#4 “I was feeling ashamed at being such an unworthy dirty whore.” If it quacks like a duck, and fucks like a duck…
And yet another upstanding citizen who most likely reads the bible with that mouth. And yet again, the only thing I had to do to qualify for this treatment was have sex. I wonder what I would have been had I not even bothered to use a condom? *grin*
This next one is from a self-proclaimed doctor, he actually posted twice and both of them are really indicative of his mindset
#5 It is not malpractice NOT to treat someone. If you refuse to see the patient, there is no malpractice. Malpractice only exists if there is an established doctor-patient relationship. That’s why those doctors didn’t want to talk to bitingbeaver directly. If they initiate a relationship, they’re liable. If not, they’re not.
Ok, I’m with him so far…guess you learn something new everyday huh? But this next line is where he screws up
You’d never win such a frivolous lawsuit, anyway.
Because of course it’s frivolous to want to make my own choices on something like pregnancy. Geesh, shouldn’t I have figured out by now that I’m just a baby making machine? It’s so frivolous to concern yourself with something like keeping a roof over my existing children’s heads. It’s very frivolous to actually think about whether or not you can raise another child for 18 years. What a frivolous thing to think about!
And here’s the good doctors second post!
I am a physician. I agree that you shouldn’t have been treated like that. However, it is not a physician’s “duty” to prescribe EC. That’s what planned parenthood is for. Donate $$ to planned parenthood so they can stay open on weekends. The ERs are already overcrowded with traumas and major emergencies, especially on weekends, so it’s not appropriate to seek EC at an ER. Remember, healthcare is not an entitlement, its a privilege.
Ahhh, I see. How about this then? The next time someone comes to the ER with a gunshot wound how about you refuse to treat them? No? Well why not? Geesh, if it’s a privilege then you should be asking the victim all sorts of questions, you know, see if he’s moral enough to be treated by you. Oh…I see, I guess that’s just different right?
#6 Oh, BB, I’m SO sorry the consequences of sleeping around have caught up with you! Maybe if you saved all the money you spend on booze and cigarettes you could afford to get your boyfriend an operation to prevent this!
Nah, I don’t smoke or drink enough to save that kind of money *biggrin*. Not to mention, the last time I checked it wasn’t illegal to smoke or to drink.
Oh and by the way, has anyone noticed the lack of talk about ‘babies’ in these comments? Most of them seem to just be pissed that I have sex. Gotta love fundies!
#7 Erm, calling a child a parasite is going a tad too far dont you think? I understand your position, but dont blame the child if you become pregnant
No, I do not think it’s going too far. If the EC didn’t work then there is no ‘child’ here, just a bunch of cells that could one day be a child. As for the ‘parasite’ thing? Well, let’s see, parasites live off the life of another without giving anything in return….yep, sounds like a fetus to me!
Not to mention my religion dictates that a child isn’t ensouled until after birth *wickedgrin*. I demand religious respect here!
Here’s the thing folks. If I’ve said something to offend you then too bad. I spent an entire weekend looking for someone to get me a medication that I needed to prevent a pregnancy. Hours of listening to doctors play god and tell me what I can and can’t do with my fucking uterus before I finally had to take a 3 hour round trip drive to a clinic that would dispense me the medication I needed to literally keep myself and my children with a roof over their heads.
If you think that anything I have said is offensive then shut the hell up because I for one think it’s offensive as hell that these so called pro-lifers clearly didn’t give a shit about the 3 existing lives that I already take care of and who I was trying to protect.
I also find it offensive that because I had consensual sex within the confines of a monogamous relationship with a partner of 3 years and I am still accused of ‘sleeping around’. Furthermore you sanctimonious godbags one reason I’m NOT married is because my abusive as fuck x husband has refused to grant me a divorce for years after I pissed him off by kicking him out when he beat my kids. But I guess that doesn’t fucking matter does it you sick fucks?
I also find it offensive that you assume that I believe that a fetus is a ‘baby’. Keep your Christian god out of my frigging womb. I happen to follow an entirely different religion that has no such ridiculous ideas ensconsed in it.
Furthermore, I find it offensive that even IF I met each and every one of your pre-existing ideas of who I am that it would even matter. I don’t care if a woman sleeps with 1000 partners while unmarried without using any form of birth control. The fact that you all seem to believe that your morality belongs in HER womb is fucking sick.
So take your garbage elsewhere because I will have none of it.